A USNH Yokosuka "Dining Out"

On March 8th, Brian and I attended our first Navy dining out together. The dining in/out is a popular formal military tradition today, though it goes by several names. Both the United States Navy and Air Force call this social affair the "dining in" (or "dining out" if spouses and other guests are invited). The Marine Corps and the Coast Guard refer to it as mess night and the Army sometimes calls it a regimental dinner.

The dining in originated from British military tradition. (So I'm not quite sure how the Scotish bag-pipe player comes into play, but it was a nice touch nevertheless.) The dining in has been largely resurrected since the 200th birthday of both the USA and the Navy. During the bicentennial, officials were reviving virtually every traditional event to celebrate the occasion. The Chief of Naval Information (CHINFO) prepared a pamphlet entitled "How to Conduct a Dining-In." The guide was published as an article in the March 1975 issue of U.S. Navy Medicine. This is an important document because it describes the basic format of the Navy dining-in.

And what format is that, you might ask?

Well, obviously there is a dinner and those invited belong to the same command--in this case, officers of the United States Naval Hospital in Yokosuka, Japan.

Each dining in follows established protocols. Etiquette requires a diner to know what is appropriate at any given time. However, on the other hand, there are many comical and silly behaviors in the course of the proceedings.

Rules define the officers of the mess, guests, and procedures, such as cocktail hour, call to dinner, grace, seating arrangement and table setting. After a brief cocktail period of 30 to 45 minutes, the presiding officer, known as the "President of the Mess," announces, "Please be seated." The group will then retire to the dining area to be seated.

After tasting the meat (usually beef), the President (the CO of the hospital) will declare it "tasty and fit for human consumption," after which the meal will be served to the diners. At our dining out, there were two "beefs," the first of which is a joke and seen here (the CO's son, Matt). Eventually the head waiter brought out the real beef, prime rib, for the President to sample.

After the dessert is finished, the President will invite the chief steward to bring forth wine to be served, and toasting will begin. Some toasts are rote and others are thoughtful and somber.

Then after the toasts have concluded, the floor is opened to the levying of fines. Fines are incurred if the following violations are made:

• untimely arrival at proceedings
• smoking at the table before the lighting of the smoking lamp
• haggling over date of rank
• improper wear of uniform
• inverted cummerbund
• wearing a clip-on bow tie at an obvious list
• poor language
• loud and obtrusive remarks in a foreign language
• foul language
• discussion on a controversial topic (politics, religion, and women are commonly forbidden topics)
• improper toasting procedure
• toasting with an uncharged glass
• rising to applaud particularly witty, succinct, sarcastic, or relevant toasts, unless following the example of the President
• leaving the dining room without permission from the President of the Mess
• carrying cocktails into the dining area before the conclusion of dinner
• haggling over penalties or fines imposed
  

In addition to paying fines, violators were sent to the grog bowls, for alcoholic or non-alcoholic punch, and then forced to put the empty cups on their heads. The rules state they may also be sentenced to sing songs, tell jokes, do pushups, or perform menial tasks to entertain the mess. As you can imagine, some silly behaviors ensued throughout the night to provide entertainment and also point out the absurdity of some of these antiquated rules. And in most cases, when a violator has been identified, he or she is given the opportunity to provide a rebuttal or defense for the violation, which rarely results in the violator being excused for the offense, and usually only results in more punishment...and more entertainment. So, it was a fun evening, especially since the rules didn't seem to apply to the spouses.

For example, Anpanman momentarily makes an unacknowledged appearance at the USNH Dining Out. Perhaps because he sat in Kathy's (the CO's wife) seat and everyone was none the wiser, he wasn't made to drink from the grog. Or maybe he was an official Japanese guest.